It’s 10am and i’ve only just woke up on my day off work, after working 88 hours over 9 days. My head is allover the place and I have to keep reminding myself to take my medication and have some breakfast, that staying in bed all day won’t help me. I finally pull myself out of bed, grab a coffee and put on the TV to try and wake myself up a little with ITV This Morning, one of my favourite day time channels to watch on my days off work.
As I sit there, my head still coming round battling with thoughts of anxiety, depression, unworthiness, panic, guilt, there is a women with a smile from ear to ear on my TV screen laughing at the face of the NHS saying she ”faked depression to get her nose job”! Well anger was the main emotion spinning round my head when I saw this! All my life I have battled with endless stigma around my mental health, from people not believing mental illness is real to people thinking mental illness just means you should self harm and end your own life. From being 15 years of age to 24 years of age now I have battled with that stigma and abuse daily and will do probably the rest of my life and that’s hard enough but put that ontop of the abuse and negativity my own mental illness feeds my mind daily it’s deadly.
I wouldn’t wish my mental illness on my worst enemy, as much as i’d like to be rid of my own mental illness I wouldn’t pass it on to anyone to have the freedom, but I sure as hell am not going to battle with my mind 24/7 7 days a week, 365 days a year to watch some smug woman on my TV screen openly and freely admit with a smile on her face that she faked what I have just to gain a nose job!
It’s bad enough that you would even go to the lengths of lying to the NHS to get such a prize, but it’s even worse that you would openly come on national TV and laugh at the face of mental illness and those who fight so hard to live a normal life while living with a mental illness, and fight for the stigma to be gone! What angers me even more as I write this blog is simply that I am writing this blog! Because I am giving her the attention she wants, the publicity, her name to be allover social media, her face to be known. Isn’t it about time we stopped giving these kind of people airtime on our screens? Isn’t it time these people were punished for putting the NHS in the state it’s in? Isn’t it time innocent people got some justice?! Isn’t it time we took the smile of their faces? Isn’t it time things changed?
Stay strong, Keep faith.