Back To Basics.

Poetry By Rachel Burridge.

She looked at all her clothes, shoes and bags and items she didn’t need.

She was living in a material world and money was it’s feed.

She’d had the buzz and adrenaline from buying on the spot.

She knew the happiness would always pass though no matter how much she got.

She threw on her joggers and her comfy jumper, back where she felt at home.

She grabbed a roll of bin bags and filled them with everything she had to own.

She kept one outfit, one pair of shoes.

She didn’t need the rest then it wouldn’t take her as long to choose.

She kept one lot of make-up, one lot of her favourite body lotion.

She looked at the pile left on the floor it looked like she was making a potion.

She threw all her bin bags in the bin, one after another.

She felt a sense of relief like throwing out an abusive lover.

She didn’t want to play by the rules anymore of this world revolving around a pound sign.

She had one drawer of belongings now and with that she would be just fine.

No more wasting items that she never needed in the first place.

No more being sucked into the sales of the world or joining in on the rat race.

Dirty Depression.

Poetry By Rachel Burridge.

She hasn’t washed her hair for a week, her split ends are starting to tare.

She doesn’t even know where her hair brush has gone,but she has lost the care.

She hasn’t brushed her teeth for days, her mouth is starting to feel stale.

She hasn’t done her washing for months it’s just hung over the stair rail.

She hasn’t changed out of her night clothes for weeks, she has no day clothes clean.

She hasn’t opened the curtains in her room because she doesn’t want to be seen.

She hasn’t sprayed her favourite perfume for months, it’s starting to collect dust.

She hasn’t washed her pots for so long some spoons are starting to rust.

She hasn’t had a shower for days, but she is used to the smell.

She has lost all self control and ability for self care in deep depression she has fell.

The Dirty Truth About Depression.

Alot of blogs and posts you see about depression, even leaflets in the doctors waiting areas speaking about mental health and if your struggling with depression never really highlight the sides of it that are hard to talk about with someone suffering with depression, such as hygiene. They will always have a clean, washed healthy looking person on the front of the leaflet, clean hair, white teeth, clean clothes and some people do face depression in that way and can still function with everyday hygiene routines for themselves and keep self care up with their appearance but some like my self struggle with it and that’s ok.

I find not many speak honestly about how depression can truley change everything about a person and the way they function day to day and how little energy they can have even when it comes to doing such a small task like brushing your teeth twice a day. On bad days with my depression I have wore clothes all day, gone to bed in the same clothes then wore those clothes for another 24 hours sometimes longer depending on how deep my depression has hit me. On my good days greasy hair, unbrushed teeth and unclean clothes, no deodrant really get to me and I’m on top of those things daily but on bad days these things just don’t seem to matter. As my depression as always made me feel if I don’t feel good and clean on the inside why bother with the outside.

I view things a lot differently since having depression in the past and coping with spurts of it as it comes and goes in my life now, I realise if I walk past someone in the street who doesn’t smell so fresh, or look so clean and well kept not to turn my nose up as think things like ” why would you leave the house like that” and ”why wouldn’t you wear some deodrant” because the said truth is you don’t know what they are going through behind closed doors to lead them to get into that state and also the fact that I have left my house in that exact same state on my very low days.

But one thing I have stopped recently is putting myself down for doing these things and apologising for them because I have no reason to. If one day I don’t have the strength to get up and wash, brush my teeth or put on my make up that’s ok because today I can take a day off to clean my mind first before my body and my mind will always be more important.

Stay Strong, Keep Faith.

RayRay.

No.

Poetry By Rachel Burridge.

Asked to a party, but tonight was going to be her night in.

Yes she replied, a gave a false grin.

Asked to work on her day off, but she was so tired.

Yes she replied, she was so scared she’d be fired.

Asked to baby sit again,but she wanted some time alone.

Yes she replied, she didn’t want abusive text messages on her phone.

Asked if she wanted to go out to dinner, but she hated the place they chose.

Yes she replied, while finding out some clothes.

Asked to a party,but tonight was her night in.

No she replied and gave a cheerful grin.

Asked to work on her day off, but she was so tired.

No she replied,there was no way she would get fired.

Asked to baby sit again, she needed some time alone.

No she replied, and switched off her phone.

Asked if she wanted to go out for dinner, but she hated the place they chose.

No she replied, as her confidence rose.

Saying yes for so long had made her forget what she needed for herself.

But she needed to say no to look out for her own health.

No explantion was needed only the two letter word.

And eveyrtime she said it she made sure she was heard!

Saying ‘No’ Is Enough.

We live in a society today that can’t understand the word ‘No’ on it’s own as though it has to be part of a sentence, it has to come with an explanation…Guess what it doesn’t and another thing there is no limit to how many times or things you can say ‘no’ too!

Society today doesn’t understand the word ‘no’ and that a person has a free will to say it and stand by it and does not have to give any explanation to why they have said no in the first place. I have said this before and I will say it again we are not a flock of sheep who have to scream ‘YES’ to every oppurtunity, social gathering, work commitments, extra shifts, baby sitting that is thrown our way if we don’t want to.

Yes saying ‘no’ a small two letter word will sometimes cause great offence to some people but if it does it is time they grew up and understood the answer isn’t always going to be yes anyway,so in relality you are doing them a favour in the long run. Life is about making choices, the good ones, the bad ones and the learning choices. They all help shape our life to become the person and have the life we are meant to lead and saying the word ‘yes’ and ‘no’ both play big parts in shaping that life and learning from them choices.

It doesn’t matter if you were invited to a party today but you just wanted to curl up on the sofa with a good film instead, that’s just fine don’t ruin that perfect plan just say no to the party invitation, because you can. It doesn’t matter if you have three days off work and your asked if you can pick up an extra shift but you planned on doing some gardening that day and could always change your plans even if you’d rather stick to the first ones, say no to the extra shift and have your own time to yourself, you work hard enough anyway.

It’s a slow progress it took me years and I’m still training my brain everyday that it’s ok to say no to things sometimes, but each time I do It becomes easier and easier and I feel more powerful each time I do it because I am in control.

Stay Strong, Keep Faith.

RayRay.

No Follower Of Yours.

Poetry By Rachel Burridge.

She walked along the quiet road, sunshine glowing on her face.

Everyone else in a frantic rush, but she stayed at her own pace.

She smiled at passers by, no one gave one in return.

A society glued to their phones and online life, when will they ever learn.

As she crossed at the zebra crossing, she held up her hand to say thank you.

But the angry drivers face scowled back, as she made him wait in a que.

Walking slowely through the shop doors, everyone pushing by her shoulder.

Knocked into the side door, she sighs and mumbles to herself ” this world just grows colder”

A packet of crisps dropped on the floor by a busy mum, while she’s juggling everything.

I offer her a hand as I pass her the crisps back but I guess she didn’t hear me over her phone ring.

Reaching the till, she smiles and packs her own items away.

She says ”thank you” to the stern faced cashier ”I hope you have a nice day”

She knew as she walked away she had not recieved today what she had given.

But being the only light on a dark day was enough to keep her driven.

To Be Or Not To Be A Nice Person.

I have continuously battled all my life with whether to carry on be a kind, genuine, helpful, caring person but get knocked down more times than I can count and be took advantage of or to be a sheep and follow how the majority of society acts now and be the complete oppisite a unkind,manipulative,selfish, uncaring person but get what you want and not worry about others.

It mind boggles me how you can be so unkind but get the places some people get for being that way and get to where they want to be and sleep so sound at night with people looking up to them and talking about them as though they are a god, but yet those who look out for others and lend a hand whenever needed and give up things they want to help someone at a time they need are took advantage of and used for their kind nature and told they should find their balls and stop being a yes person then people wouldn’t walk allover them so much.

From best friends to relationships to employers I have felt the knife stuck in my back many times for being a giving person who has put others first and given up things I’ve wanted to do to give others chance to go and do things they wanted to do and still not slept sound at night worrying I haven’t done enough for them, because they only remember the one time you said no to them and not the million times you said yes and gave it all up for them!

I still have all my manners intact that I was brought up with and not dragged up without, I say thank you to every kind gesture that is done for me no matter how small or big and I say please when I need a hand or just if someones is offerring me a drink because manners don’t cost a thing because they are priceless to recieve. I still walk around shops and keep an eye out for anyone needing a hand to grab soemthing off a shelf or help carrying an item, I still walk around smiling at others in the street hoping if they are having a bad day it brightens it up for them a little. Even if only 1 out of ten people say thank you for lending a hand and hopefully don’t give you a dead eye for even suggesting they can’t cope on their own, even if 1 in 20 people don’t even smile back and the rest turn their head away as you approach them, look at their phone instead or simply just look at you as though your alien!

Some days, even my lowest days I still manage to carry on doing these things to brighten someone elses day because I know how it feels to be low and someone having a bad to to make you feel even lower and that’s real strength. I’ve been told a thousand times to ‘man up’ ‘grow some balls’ ‘stop being a door mat’ ‘nice people don’t get anywhere in life’ and yes I have learned the hard way over the past few years I can’t say yes to everything and I have to put myself and my health first sometimes and stop worrying if others dissagree with it or not because it’s irrelevant.

But one thing I will never stop doing is smiling at others in the street if I feel like smiling even if they don’t smile back it’s worth it to make 1 in 10 peoples day instead of none at all, because that 1 person could of really needed that smile today. And I will never stop lending a hand to those who look like they need it because one day I may really need a hand also.

We are not sheep, we are not followers we are are own person and just because people will knock you down in life never believe it’s a bad thing to be a good person because it’s not it’s just a rare beautiful thing to be, but that’s ok.

Stay Strong, Keep Faith.

RayRay.